In Four Days...

I'm getting married in 4 days. This year has gone by so quickly, but what a great and busy year it has been. Like Emily Dickenson said, "To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else."

Only a few lingering tasks await me these next few days. Family and friends have begun to arrive and emotions are running high for all involved. Me? I'm a bit of a roller coaster, actually, but fairing pretty well. If anything, I wish I didn't feel guilty that I didn't work out every day like I promised myself I would. Guilt's a hard emotion for me to shake, too. Oh well. Multivitamin, lowfat yogurt and big glass of water, here I come! (And really...if that's the worst emotion I feel, I'll find a way to push through. Ha!)

I wish I could find a way to put into words everything I'm feeling, but I can't. Or maybe it's that I won't? For me, this is a time for reflection, introspection, goodbyes, hellos, truth, love and promises. It isn't a party. It isn't about the money spent (or saved). It isn't about the decor, the flowers, the dress. It's a marriage. A powerful and true covenant between two people willing to go in front of God and everyone to commit ourselves to one another forever. These last few days, that's where my thoughts have been. How do you thank someone for loving so deeply in you that they make this commitment to you? That's love to me, pure and simple. We believe in one another that pledge of faith and friendship. We know things won't always be perfect -- they never have been, why would it change now? But we know that we can work through anything. We can apologize (*though one of us is better than the other, but I'm learning.) We can forgive. We can laugh, dream, work hard, work together, love, respect and honor one another. Though, technically, "the rest of our lives together" began years ago, I'm looking forward to the new, the unexpected, the unplanned and also the mundane, the routine and the constant our future together holds.

I feel like standing at the top of the tallest tree and shouting to the world and to God, "Thank you!" Every day, everything looks a bit richer somehow, colors more vibrant. I think my heart is smiling.