A funny thing happened on the way to the outlet mall...


As much as I'd love to take credit for the following hilarious story, it is all my sister's doing. She even said to me, "Oh, this story so needs to go on your blog." And thus, I begin the story of my sister's ill-fated trip to the outlet mall.

Back Story: Sissy is freaking out a little bit about what to wear to the rehearsal dinner. She tells me a few days ago, "Oh, please don't ask. I just don't know yet. I have to try to put something together, but I'm not sure I have the perfect pieces."

Then, yesterday, I get this text message:

"I effed up im in mexico! I missed my exit and i had to go thru the mexico border! OMG pray for me please. Say a prayer we make it back to the usa!!!"

Of course, I had a baby heart attack and wrote her back and called her, trying to figure out why:
1. She was anywhere nearer to Mexico than she is normally...one of the side effects to living in SoCal.
2. If she needs me to fax her birth certificate or if I had to talk to a border guard to beg them to let her back in so she doesn't miss her flight home for the wedding in a few days!

The story goes something like this...

Sissy and her roommate CC got this great idea to go shopping and Sissy really wanted to find the outlet mall. She knew it was somewhere not too far away and after looking up the directions, realizes it's a pretty straight shot. Just take highway 5 all the way to Exit 1A. Yep. The first exit inside the States. Undaunted, they jump into the car and head out for a mini shopping adventure. Only they were having too much fun, apparently, because the next thing Sissy knows is CC is freaking out and yelling that she had missed the exit and they're now in Mexico and that CC doesn't have his driver's license! Sissy is yelling at the border gate lady, "Is there a place to turn around? I missed my exit!" And the lady just keeps flagging her forward and saying, "Go! Go!" So much for that idea.

Sissy is now freaking out, too, because getting into Mexico is as easy as missing an exit. So they're freaking out, trying to call some people, trying to figure out how to turn around. Now there tends to be some different traffic rules in foreign countries -- Mexico included. We decided to call it a traffic fiesta. So Sissy is driving around in this traffic fiesta, manages to find a McDonald's and they start to figure out how to make it back. Miraculously, Sissy finds some kind of roundabouts or something and gets back to the border. Where she gets to wait in traffic for 2. Whole. Hours. At this point, she tells me, "We're so hot. We're pissed off. I'm running low on gas and NO I DON'T WANT A CHURRO I JUST WANT TO GO HOME." (And, of course, I about died laughing.) She says to me, "No. You don't understand. It's not like it's missing the outlet to Jeffersonville and ending up in Cincinnati, folks. It's Hi. Mexico. We're in Mexico." And, of course, I laugh harder.

So, then comes the border patrol guy. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm fairly certain they're getting through because, really. Who in their right mind could make up a story like this?! Sissy hands the guard her ID and asks if she has a passport.

Sissy: "No. I don't have my passport. I'm not even supposed to be in Mexico."

Guard: (a bit confused) "Then what are you doing here?"

Sissy: "I got lost because I missed my exit looking for the outlet mall. Now, I just want to go home." (I can only imagine the look on the guard's face.)

The guard asked CC for his ID, which, of course, he didn't have.

Sissy: "No, he doesn't have his ID. We weren't planning on coming to Mexico. We were just trying to get to the outlet mall."

After the rigmarole the guards have to go through ("Is this your car, etc.") They let the two crazy Americans go home.

You know what? They didn't even make it to the outlet mall. I think that's the last time Sissy ever tries to discount shop!

The moral of the story: Make sure you carry your ID at all times, you aren't enjoying your road trip so much you miss an exit and end up in Mexico and that outlet mall discounts aren't always worth the hassle. Thanks to Sissy for the great story!!


Courtney said...

OMG. Gee, why do we keep ending up with a bunch of Mexicans dead or dang near dead in the back of Semi trucks if it is SO easy to get back in. CC could have been an illegal for all they knew! lol I guarantee you if it had been the Canadian border in WA, getting back into America would have been a major hassle with a much more substantial wait time.

This story is hilarious. I'm never living down there. I'm glad they made it back ok.

writtenbliss said...

OH man ... I've told this story twice already and it kills every time. SO funny. It reminds me of something that would happen to my sister, who lives in SoCal, too. I'm glad your sister made it back to the US OK!

Mom said...

OH. MY. GOSH!!!!!!!!

(Tears of laughter.)

BWuahahahahahahaha, hahahahaha oh my goes hahahahaha.

No WONDER she hasn't called me, hahahaha.

I just got three more grey hairs.

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