MUST HAVE: Tastefully Simple Goodies

I love the mail. Especially when it comes in the form of two large boxes chock full o' Tastefully Simple stuffs!

The other week, my BFF/Matron of Honor hosted one of these parties and I jumped at the chance to go. Mom had great things to say about TS and I had to give them a try myself. Suffice it to say, I went a little crazier than I had meant to (it's a little pricey), but I'm so excited about making everything, I've decided to not feel guilty and reward myself with tasty morsels :)

In total, I bought 4 bread mixes (3 Bountiful Beer Bread and 1 Savory Wheat Beer Bread), a couple of those drink-in-a-tub mixes where you just add the alcohol and ice (Pomegranate Blueberry Margarita, oh yeah), a jar of strawberry rhubarb jam and a couple of boxes of Granola Goodness Jam Bar Mix. Oh, by the way...if you've never tasted the Bountiful Beer Bread, you are SO missing out! It's ambrosia-like, even.

Other things I would've liked to get had my will-power and bank account not stepped up and talked some sense into me (besides more of everything I did buy):

Chocolate Bliss Cheese Ball mix -- sounds gross? Yeah, tastes like brownie batter. Good times.

Twisty Grahams - To eat with said Chocolate Bliss Cheese Ball. Sure, it's cheaper to use graham crackers but these are little twisties like prezels and so cuuuuute!

Bacon Bacon - It comes as a shakeable dry mix, but when blended into cream cheese...drool-worthy, smoky, bacon-y spread. How is that not win-win?

Absolutely Almond Pound Cake Mix - Sure, I could make it from scratch, but this is so easy it's almost not right.

Country Blackberry Preserves - It was so good I turned it into a topping for the pound cake.

So. I know I'm not alone here when I say that a little extra income couldn't hurt? Well...maybe you should look into Tastefully Simple as a solution. It's a consultant-based sales job (like Mary Kay or Tupperware), you work on your schedule and this product is Quality with a capital Q. Seriously, the products almost sell themselves. I don't know the details about initial investment to become a consultant, but if you're interested in such a thing...look into this company.

What else did I learn from my Tastefully Simple adventure? It makes GREAT gifts (Hello! Mother's Day!) The stuff doesn't melt, leak or ooze, so shipping is actually an option and even people who hate to cook (yes, that would be moi) won't run screaming the other direction from this stuff. It's idiot-proof food!

Add water and butter. Stir. Bake.
or
Add cream cheese. Stir. Serve.

They should add "Completely Impress Everyone" as the final step. I would. Seriously.

Deja vu?

Am I losing it? Have I posted this before? Well, even if I have, there (still) aren't words for how much I heart this birdie mobile. It reminds me very much of a fantastically hip cloth elephant mobile with a rustic bell on the end that my Aunt Vicky gave to me years ago (I have a thing for elephants, you see.) Alas..I think all but one elephant has survived, but one never forgets!

Are you feeling a little DIY action? Oh yeah. Me, too. Instructions ici.

{all this jazz is courtesy Spool Sewing via casasugar, btw. I'm such a fan.}

Yum.

The Grail of All Macarons. Pierre Herme, Macarons via Flickr

I am determined to make french macarons one of these days. Sure, I could pop on over to Pistacia Vera and buy them, but where's the fun (read: challenge) in that?

Oh, and just so we're clear...Macarons are not macaroons. A macaron is an 18th century French pastry, similar to that of a merengue, made from almond flower, confectioner's sugar, white sugar and egg whites. Take two of these little baked "cookies", sandwich between them a layer of filling, such as a ganache or buttercream, and voila! C'est macacron!

Flavors I'd like to try:

1. Hazelnut mocha (brown with brown filling)
2. Raspberry Chocolate (pink with brown filling)
3. Chocolate Peanut Butter (Yes, not traditionally French, but c'mon. It just works!)

What about non-cocoa variations? A simple vanilla cream with plain almond cookie would be nice. Pistachio? I'd love it, though I may be the only one. Maybe even banana buttercream in a coconut pastry? Is that too strange?

All I need is almond flour, parchment paper, patience and a killer recipe to get me started!

My Friday Night Fun-ness

Sometimes it's really fun living in our trendy urban Columbus neighborhood. On Friday, we took a stroll down to the brand-spanking-new Huntington Park baseball stadium, watched the Clippers play at a sold-out game, ate a tasty bratwurst, enjoyed the most perfect weather imaginable, walked to the Short North, grabbed a beer and a bite at a fantastically mellow local pub with a great eclectic mix of music playing (MGMT to the Rolling Stones) and took our time strolling home. People were out and about, enjoying the night, shaking off the chill of winter. Patios were filled everywhere. I was wearing a shirt I haven't worn since the summer and felt pretty. It was one great date :)

Not bad for iPhone shots!
{Huntington Park Stadium, Columbus}

Drumroll, Please!

Thank you to everyone who participated and commented on April's Lucky 13 Giveaway!

The feedback that I received was great and I hope that I can continue to mix it up a bit and have all sorts of giveaways in the future.

And without further ado...

Congratulations to Lisa & Obnox! Your comments were randomly chosen as this month's winners. You both will be receiving a pack of Beauty Alert! labels in the mail very shortly!

(I emailed you both..please let me know if you didn't receive it.)

Thanks again to everyone and keep those peepers open for future contests!

A Hometown Wedding: *Print Goes to Catawba

{Courtesy *Print}

As soon as the weather begins to warm and the sun shines bright in a clear blue sky, my mind immediately goes to my childhood. I grew up in a small community on Lake Erie, so the coming summer meant a huge influx of tourism (it IS the Walleye Capital, you know..), cute vacationing boys, lots of swimming, bike riding, roller skating (oh we miss you Gem Beach Roller Rink), fish frys, fresh sweet corn and peaches and the Catawba Island Fire Department Chicken Dinner. Nothing, to this day, makes me smile more than coming in over Sandusky Bay Bridge on a sunny, summer day, rolling down the windows and smelling deep the fresh Lake air.

My lovely D. happened upon these shots from Christa, our wedding photographer at *Print (holla!) and lo and behold -- they were shot at Mon Ami Restaurant & Winery on Catawba Island (and not too far from where D. proposed!)

How cool is that?! This is one of my favorite shots...with the huge wine casks. Gorgeous. The limestone barrel arch of the ceiling makes for a great shot, too.

A little bit about the history of Catawba Island, as it relates to wine:

Grape growing became an important part of Catawba’s economy when Nicholas Longworth, of Cincinnati, brought the first Catawba Grape vines here from North Carolina. The first commercial grape business was started in 1860 by Mr. Henry Ellithorp and Mr. H. Newton. Others followed, and in 1862 the largest number of vines were owned by P.E. Andrews. In 1871 there were 345 acres of vineyards, and by 1874 there were 6—acres producing grapes. The Catawba Wine Company had a cellar of 130,000-gallon capacity.

The Mon Ami Winery was built in 1871, and has had many owners. Norman Mantey converted the first floor of the winery to a restaurant, which he called The Mon Ami Champagne Company."

And a bit more about the crazy popular peach crop that started after the grape phenom:

"Apple and peach orchards were started commercially in the 1870’s. Fruit was shipped out by boat and railroad in huge quantities, and Catawba produce enjoyed a fine reputation in the cities. There are still many acres planted in fruit trees, but now many of the buyers come to the area to make their purchases."

This paragraph doesn't really do it justice, so here's a bit more:

"A seeming misnomer lurks in the appellation “Catawba,” as applied to the island when its surface was covered with vineyards - the Catawba grape figuring most prominently and suggesting the name, once appropriate; but having passed through an evolutionary period, the island is now transformed into a paradise of peach orchards, such as can be found in no other portion of Ohio. Few, indeed, are the vineyards found at the present date on Catawba. The few that still remain show many peach trees planted between the rows. When these come into bearing, the vines will be dug out.

J. W. Gamble and A. S. Reynolds each planted about 1000 peach trees on Catawba about thirty-five years ago, this being the first attempt there to raise peaches for market, and their neighbors called them “crazy.” The experiment worked so well, however, that hundreds of vineyards were subsequently uprooted to make room for peach trees.

J. W. Gamble had been engaged in orcharding for quite a number of years in Highland County, Ohio, previous to 1861 and left a fine peach orchard just coming into bearing to enlist in the 2nd O. V. I., which was later engaged at the battle of “Bull's Run.” The two men above mentioned were the pioneers of peach culture on Catawba Island."

{Text found here and here}

So, here's what I suggest. This summer, when you're planning your next "staycation" in or near Ohio, pack your swim suit and head up to Lake Erie, stay in Port Clinton, feast on amazing fresh fish, swim in the lake (and don't be a sissy about it), visit Bergman's Orchard for the best peaches you'll ever eat in this lifetime (and support a local farm), grab a glass of wine and dinner at Mon Ami and grab some beers on Put-in-Bay. There isn't a better way to spend a weekend, I promise!

Feeling Like Goldilocks...

I just need to vent for a moment because my brain is fried and I am all but consumed with frustration over nothing in my closet fitting properly. I feel a lot like Goldilocks not fitting properly into the 3 Bears' beds. Seriously, if it's not too long (which, at 5'1", is nearly everything I own), it's too tight or too big (I've apparently found my mystery in-between size.) Or my shirts are too short because The Girls have seriously come into their own. Or it needs to be mended. Or I don't know...it's the wrong shade of chartreuse. OK, that one I made up. But still. Argh.

Given that I've heard nothing but good things about Weight Watchers, I think I'm going to join the online WW. Even though I'm financially-challenged at this particular juncture, I think it's worth it to get my butt in gear and stop complaining. It's become this thing, how I feel about myself and my body...I generally am not unhappy, but I don't feel like myself anymore. Like, the way I look and the way I think I look are two vastly different things. That's very frustrating. I've come to terms with never being a size 2 again. More than anything, I just want to feel good.

D. and I have been eating so well for awhile now. Sure, we veer off-course every once in awhile, but I'm not one for depriving myself of things I enjoy, so long as it's in moderation. That's the key, I think...moderation. I have issues with it. I like sweets. And Heineken. And bread. And ice cream. In a perfect world, those would be my food groups :)

Dreamy Dream House

{All Images Courtesy Country Living}

I couldn't resist posting these images from this Country Living feature. Not only do I completely admire the Brahler family for doing their historical home complete and utter justice (and wow, do I mean WOW - this house is stunning), I love how they were able to capture the feeling of stately European country manor casual. The kicker? They live in the city of Jacksonville, Illinois' historical disstrict (go Midwest)!

There is something so intrisically charming about the whitewash, the rich green yard, the perfectly-chosen faded palette and the eclectic reuse of vintage pieces that make this house a home. You can almost smell fresh cotton and hear the giggles of children playing hide-and-seek. This is the kind of home you can be creative in...play Bach, paint something grand or perhaps you could finally finish that novel you've been meaning to start.

I am not even going to start thinking about the kind of wedding you could have in a house like this...ah, the possibilities!

Eye Candy: Katharine Hepburn, Jamaica

Oh, to be Kate Hepburn in Jamaica circa 1953...

{Courtesy: Katharine Hepburn Cultural Arts Center}

So in the spirit of 4/20 (and my backwards sense of humor), I wanted to show a little love for Jamaica.

And yes, I did this by posting a picture of wealthy white people on vacation. I know that makes no sense at all...but I promise, there's going to be more on the real Jamaica...because...

That's where we're going on our HONEYMOON! Yay! We're all booked! Now...now it's time to get ready for a bikini. Bring it on, Jillian. This time, you won't defeat me...

{lucky 13} Giveaway EXTENDED!

Just an FYI...because I know there was some comment-posting weirdness earlier this week, I've extended the contest through to next Friday, April 24, closing at midnight.

Yay! Keep the comments rolling!

TWIGGY & JOHN

I thought I'd share a little of our own, personal eye candy with you all for a change :)

Twiggy lives in our 2-story stairwell, leading up to the 2nd floor of our home. Cool, isn't she? This is a one-of-a-kind custom painting done by D's mom...my future mother-in-law, that was given to D. a few Christmases ago. She is a crazy-good painter and this painting just rocks my world.

We've been planning a whole series of these black & white paintings...the 2nd we have is of John Lennon. He lives in the stairwell going downstairs. Do you detect a theme? No one lets me forget that that my future family-in-law is English :)

What are some other good ideas? So far...one supermodel and one musician...perhaps a poet? A writer? Winston Churchill? (That was my idea, of course, but I'm not sure he'd look so nice up on the wall!)

MOST EGG-CELLENT!

My sis and I have always had a love of dying Easter eggs. This year was no exception. She had us over for an egg dying extravaganza AND dinner! Just a little something she whipped up...whole wheat pasta with a cream sauce with shrimp, onion, mushrooms and a load of perfectly-selected spices and other stuff that worked like magic on one's taste buds. (Like I've mentioned in previous posts...she got ALL of mom's genes in the home chef department!)

Check out the glorious brights we achieved this year. Paas has nothing on us! Sure, we triple-dipped and saturated these little puppies (er, chickens? Eww.) for a veeery long time, but wow did they come out well or what?! Aside from the odd egg factory processing roller marks, I think they are pretty perfect, as far as Easter eggs go :)

Problems Posting Comments

Hey all,
My pal over at Written Bliss let me know she was having trouble posting comments to Oh My Word! and, subsequently, couldn't enter the contest. That's *not* good at all!

I gave it a test comment and it worked for me, but I'm guessing others may have had the same problem? PLEASE, let me know if you are via email and I'll figure something out. I want to make sure everyone can enter!

No worries...we'll figure this out and I'm going to extend the contest just to be sure we have plenty o' time.

So sorry for the inconvenience!

~ Eve ~

Don't Forget! {Lucky 13} Giveaway!

Here's a little reminder to leave a comment over on the {Lucky 13} Giveaway for Beauty Alert! Labels! Who doesn't love FREE STUFF?

Just one comment telling me about your favorite beauty product is all it takes to enter (please leave me your email addy so I'll know who to contact if you're the winner!)

Can't wait to read all about your faves and maybe even give a couple of them a try :)

DIY LOVE: ORGANZA FLOWERS

So..I came across the most fantastic DIY craftiblog loveliness today via Reese Dixon's blog. Oh, be still my heart! And my legs...otherwise, I'm going to JoAnn's tonight to get organza to start whipping up copious amounts of these little darlings using Reese's rockin' tutorial. I must find a place in my life for these flowers. It is a moral imperative. Perhaps a garland strung up in my office? Or several, fluttering in the breeze against my window? Or tacked in bunches to a decorative pillow, maybe? Ooh ooh can you imagine the possibilities?!

{insert happy dance here}

{Courtesy: Reese Dixon}

Eye Candy: Wedding Wellies

{Courtesy: squeakypeach4's Flickr}

I love wellies and wellies and wedding dresses practically push me over the edge, never to process Cute the same way again. Seriously. Just look at this picture. This bride is completely and utterly adorable, rocking the cutest pair of wellies *ever* (perhaps I'm a bit partial, however...I do own the same pair) but it doesn't stop there...She MADE that smashing wedding dress! That is just incredible. Rock star through and through.

{Lucky 13} Giveaway: Beauty Alert! Labels - CLOSED!

UPDATE: CONTEST IS CLOSED! Thanks to all who entered. Winner will be contacted shortly via email. Thanks everyone! - Evelyn

Boy do I have a great surprise for you! Remember this month's {Bombshell Beauty} post -- The one about makeup exiration dates? It featured Beauty Alert! labels - one of those rockin' products every woman should have. Well, guess what? Now you can try to win your own for free!

Stacya, West Coast Beauty Alert! Rep Extraordinare, is a fan of Oh My Word! and was kind and generous enough to send over Beauty Alert! labels for a {Lucky 13} contest. Wasn't that nice of her? I think so! Just one more reason to love this company!

Up for grabs: The packet contains 24 labels, each color-coded and month-marked depending on shelf life, and instructions for use and application. All you need is a permanent marker and some brand-new makeup and you're ready to go!

How to enter: Just leave a comment below (with a valid email address) sharing with us your favorite beauty-related product and a bit about why you love it.

All comments posted before Friday April 17 at Midnight EST will be considered and one will be selected at random to win!

*The contest is limited to U.S. residents only.

Good Lucky!

My Wishes For You

Enjoy every moment this weekend, in solitude and as you share with friends, family and loved ones this weekend. Find inner calm, peaceful being and quiet moments of reflection. Most importantly, celebrate the renewal of strength in spirit -- that is what Easter means to me. Peace be with you, my friends.

MUST HAVE: Pop-up Placemats

This is a must for paper junkies like myself. Disposable, plain paper placemats with charming laser-cut pop-up designs. Must. Have.

Oh -- AND there are 6 different styles, including holiday versions...I'm loving the reindeer, for serious.

{Courtesy: Wedding Things}

Hurray for Bite Size!

This must sound incredibly silly, but have always had an affinity for miniature versions of food and snacksAround here, we collectively refer to these mini foods as "Bite Size." I love Bite Size! (Yes, I know that isn't grammatically correct, but it is what it is.) So you can imagine how much I love the big trend on mini foods at weddings! Heck, take it outside the wedding reception scenario and have a mini food party at your house...maybe a housewarming party for the newlyweds? Perhaps a Mini Food Potluck? I know I'd enjoy it :)

{Top L to R: Boston.com, Fabulous Finger Food, Wedding Things}
{Middle L to R: Fabulous Finger Food, Bite Catering, Flickr}
{Bottom L to R: Vegan YumYum, Inspired Occasions}

Inspiration Board: Pink + Green Preppy Party

{Top L to R: JenniB Originals, The Preppy Wedding, Doodlefish Kids, Country Living}
{Bottom L to R: Martha Stewart, The Palm Gifts, flowers unknown, tablescape unknown}

Even though it snowed today (yay, Ohio), I'm ready to get going on outdoor parties! Meatalicious BBQs, fancy frilly tea parties, Monday margarita parties...as soon as the weather warms up, I'll find any excuse to be outside - preferably in a new frock and donning a cocktail, but I'll settle for flip flops and a Heineken just the same.

My girls have been poking around and asking questions about what kind of bridal shower I may like to have...and it turns out that I have a pretty clear vision of what I'd like to have (BIG shock, right? Ha!). Here's what I'm thinking...Take 1 part English garden party and mix together with equal parts preppy and girly with a healthy pinch of vintage, somehow involve pink, apple green and maybe a bit of pale yellow, grosgrain bows and fabric banners festooning a lovely covered porch or some such thing, brightly colored sundresses and hats, ice cold drinks, fresh berries, tiny savories and sweets...yep. That's sorta what I'm thinking :) I know that pink and green has been completely beaten to death, but there is something so intrinsically classic about it, why mess with perfection? Pale blue and bright red. Always another fav of mine. Wouldn't mind yellow and green either...perhaps more inspiration boards are in order!

Eye Candy: Cross Stitch Love

I need/want/ love this massive, cross-stitched E. I couldn't resist...I had to borrow from {frolic!} here. What a great addition this could be to my neverending home office project...hmm...and the wheels are turning :)

Eye Candy: My Favorite Shoes

This is an unabashedly shameless gush over my favorite shoes...consider yourself warned!

So...my favorite shoes are apple green suede Marjorie ballet flats from J. Crew. I wear them with everything...even if I skirt dangerously close to looking silly. On more than one occasion, I've referred to them as "My Lucky Green Shoes." I know how cracked that sounds, but I can't help myself.

The downside to having this particular pair of shoes as my favorites are some of the same reasons for that position...they're suede, they're J.Crew and they're apple green. Let me explain:

Suede isn't the most durable fabric out there...not that I'm looking for a Teflon shoe or anything, but they require a bit more caution than if you were donning something in a waxy leather.

J. Crew knows how to make a shoe, but they come with a hefty price tag...$98! No...I didn't pay that much for mine, of course, but I'm not going to spill the beans on my super ninja shopping abilities either.

Apple green. They are so darling. I would, in fact, pay $98 for another pair exactly like mine...only J. Crew sells my beloved Marjorie ballet flat in very select colors each year. I can just hear the snooty designer now..."Apple green is so out this year." (Apparently it is according to J. Crew...but I don't care. It's my fave-o.)

Here are other colors I heart and am doing my best to resist buying, but Wow. It's hard. They are the most comfortable shoes I own (and I have had surgery on one of my feet...Orthopaedics are NOT an option, people!) Oh yeah, did I mention they have them in metallics and satins now, too? Argh.

{All courtesy: J. Crew}

Recipe: Caramels

I made caramels for the first time a couple weeks ago and wow were they tasty! The recipe is courtesy the Better Homes & Gardens New Cook Book. For those of you, like myself, who aren't blessed with on-the-fly cooking ability, invest in any BHG cook book...I have 3! My grandpa was the first one to catch on that I wasn't much of a cook...and on Christmas, 1999, he gave me my first version of the BHG cook book with the inscription:

"To Eve -

Over the years, people will thank me for this.

- G'Pop, 1999"

Well, Grandpa, you were right!


And without further ado...the recipe!

1 c. chopped walnuts (optional) - I didn't choose to use
1 c. butter
1 16-oz. (2 1/2 c.) packed brown sugar
2 c. half-and-half or light cream - I used half-and-half
1 c. light-colored corn syrup
1 tsp. vanilla
*3 Quart saucepan *Candy thermometer

1. Line an 8x8 or 9x9x2-inch baking pan with foil, extending foil over the edges of the pan. Butter the foil. If desired, sprinkle walnuts onto bottom of pan. Set pan aside.

2. In a heavy 3-Qt. saucepan melt butter over low heat. Add brown sugar, half-and-half or cream and corn syrup; mix well. Cook and stir over medium-high heat until mixture boils. Clip a candy thermometer ti the side of the pan. Reduce heat to medium; continue boiling at moderate, steady rate, stirring frequently, till the thermometer registers 248-degrees Fahrenheit (firm ball stage.) 45-60 MINUTES. - I used a 2.5 Qt. pan and had a heck of a time having to constantly move the pan off of the heat to avoid boiling over...which meant it was a pain to maintain constant heat to get up to 248. It happened eventually, but a slightly larger pan would've been handy. Get comfortable if you go this route...you're here for an hour stirring. I watched TV in the kitchen. Trust me, it helps just to hear background noise!

3. Remove saucepan from heat; remove thermometer. Stir in vanilla. Quickly pour the mixture into the prepared pan. When caramel mixture is firm, use foil to lift it out of pan. Use a buttered knife to cut into 1-in. squares. Wrap each piece in plastic wrap. Makes about 2 pounds (64 pieces.) - Be patient letting the caramel cool. It will make it easier to cut. Mine took forever and I still didn't let it cool off enough. Eventually, I popped the caramels out of the pan upside down onto my counter and got to cutting. The 1-in. pieces seemed pretty large, so I went slightly smaller for most of mine. Enlist helpers to cut the caramels with a big, sharp knife (not kid-safe.) My hand hurt like the dickens doing it all alone! The plastic wrap was a buttery disaster, too. Use waxed paper, instead. Just place the candy onto a rectangle of waxed paper, wrap around and twist ends. Makes for a better presentation, too!

SHORTCUT: Prepare as above, except substitute one 14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk for the cream .This mixture will take less time to reach 248-degrees (about 15-20 minutes instead of 45-60 mins.)

{Bombshell Beauty} Makeup Shelf Life

OK, ladies. Let's be honest. We've all been guilty of holding onto at least one bit of makeup longer than we should have...maybe a favorite shade of lipstick that was discontinued (a la my dear Grandma Gladys), a now-too-sticky-to-use bottle of nail polish you try to thin with remover for one last touch-up, mascara that flakes off or foundation that may be causing more of those blemishes than covering them up? Yeah. I've been there.

I read once about the shelf life on makeup -- how long we should keep it before tossing and replacing anew, but I still can't remember the expiration on every piece at any given time. So, here's a handy list of quite a few common items in our beauty arsenal, along with their respective expiration dates:

• Mascara: 3-6 Months
• Oil-Free Foundation: 1 Year
• Moisturizing, Cream or Compact Foundation: 18 Months
• Concealer: 12-18 Months
• Powder: 2 Years
• Powder blush: 2 Years
• Cream Blush: 12-18 Months
• Powder Eyeshadow: 2 Years
• Cream Eyeshadow: 12-18 Months
• Eyeliner: 2 Years
• Liquid Eyeliner: 3-6 Months
• Lipliner: 2 Years
• Lipstick: 2 Years
• Lip Gloss: 18-24 Months
• Fragrance: 18-24 Months
• Nail Polish: 1 Year
• Makeup Brushes: Clean weekly with a mild detergent
• Makeup Sponges: Replace weekly
  

{List compiled from articles here, here and here.}

And this should go without saying, but if it smells or has an odor, THROW IT AWAY!

Want to really organize your beautystuffs this spring? Check out the Beauty Alert! stickers. It's bad enough that the FDA doesn't require expiration dates on makeup (even though the ingredients found in most cosmetics spoil)...let these handy labels help you keep tabs on those dates. Seriously. Expired makeup is just gross.

{Courtesy: Beauty Alert!}

Here's your homework for the evening: Take an hour, clean out your makeup bag, under your sink and in your medicine cabinet. Toss out the yuckies and clean up the keepers. Give your makeup brushes a bath and let them dry overnight. Wipe out all of your makeup bags. Make a list of what you need to replace and be off for a little self-indulgence at CVS. Pick up some Calgon while you're at it...you deserve it.

A Bra's Tale: Detour On A Daughter's Trip Abroad

Betty Jenkins came to StoryCorps in
Cincinnati with her niece, Kelly Lin.

A Bra's Tale: Detour On A Daughter's Trip Abroad {Article via NPR}

As a young woman, Betty Jenkins received a gift from her mother that was meant to attract the attention of young men. But as Jenkins, who is now 94, tells her niece, the attention she got wasn't the kind she was expecting.

"I was very skinny, and I didn't have any curves. I guess my mother got kind of worried, because she didn't think I had enough boyfriends," Jenkins said.

The gift was an inflatable bra that was designed to enhance its wearer's figure. A straw-like tube was used to inflate pads in the cups.

"I was real excited, so I blew and blew to about [size] 32," Jenkins said.

But things didn't go smoothly during a plane trip in South America. The plane was flying near the Andes Mountains when Jenkins began to feel pressure and sensed there was a problem.

It turned out the cabin was not pressurized, and the bra was expanding.

"As the thing got bigger, I tried to stand up," Jenkins said, "and I couldn't see my feet."

The instructions said that the bra's pads could be inflated up to a size 48.

"I thought, 'What would happen if it goes beyond 48?'" Jenkins recalled.

"I found out what happened," she said. "It blew out."

Only one of the cups burst, Jenkins said. But the noise was loud enough to seize the attention of everyone on the plane.

"The co-pilot came into the cabin with a gun, wondering what had happened. The men all pointed to me."

Jenkins then tried to explain in Spanish what she could hardly explain in English, "that part of your anatomy just blew up."

The plane made an emergency landing, and Jenkins was handed over to the police. She was ordered to strip, as the officers looked for what they assumed could only be a bomb.

After she showed the officers the hole in her bra, Jenkins was allowed back on the plane and her trip continued.

"A month later, I got a bill from the airline for $400," Jenkins said, "for an unscheduled stop."

Her mother enjoyed the story so much that she kept the broken bra. Her mother died in 1967. As for the bra, Jenkins says she no longer has it.

Produced for Morning Edition by Nadia Reiman. The senior producer for StoryCorps is Michael Garofalo.